You Can Only Face Your Fears If You Put A Name On It Part 1

Hey y'all how was your weekend, mine was interesting but for the most part it was a relaxing one. 

 So I had an interesting conversation with a guy who once asked me out and what struck me as odd was when he said:
''so i had to let you be you know...I couldn't stand the fact that I love you but you were loving someone else''
''How did u come to the conclusion that I was loving someone else'' I asked
''Wasn't it obvious... if you couldn't love me, then it means you love someone else''.....Continue after the cut
 Okay I don't really understand this and I'm not going to try and imagine what he was thinking... But it got me thinking questioning myself: would I willingly fold my hands and watch someone I love and want for a relationship go just because 'I guess' he is in love with someone else?
What happens to finding out and making sure first. The worse that can happen is a NO.
Now that kind of laid back attitude in a man, I find very annoying. And it makes me think that one would have such an attitude in other areas of life. I'm not saying go on a 'snatching of boyfriend/girlfriend' spree... but how about you check to see if you can get what you want. What would you lose? I have heard too many 'NO' in my life to be afraid of rejection... I have seen too many 'could have'...' would have'...'should have' to be afraid to try...
Now my point is we all have our fears. A lot of people are afraid of a lot of things

- Rejection

- Being Alone

- Poverty

- Death

- Pain

- Confrontation

- etc
and its all good... I have my fears too. But the only way you can overcome these fears is to put a name to your fear...when you name it you can defeat it. Don’t tell me the reason you can’t get that girl is because 'she is in a relationship' until she tells you to back off, you have no right to assume she is in a committed relationship. That is just your fear of rejection talking. It’s the same fear of rejection that won’t allow such a person apply for a promotion and would rather be in that unfulfilled position in the office when he knows he is better qualified.

Its the fear of being alone that makes young men and women suffer in silence in an abusive relationship because anything is better than being alone...call it as it is, don’t say it’s because ''he has his moments''
One fear I have is of being a 'failure'...I recognize it creeping in when there are things I need to do and I'm not certain if I'll succeed or not and that stupid voice says: Lily you don't need that...why do you want to do that for? And I'll pause and think hell ya..why I wanna be risking that, it’s not like it’s a life and death thing
and so I make excuses and don't take the risk I should take...missing out on so many opportunities because I want a clean record of ''Lily doesn't fail'' BULLSHIT...not trying is failing on its own. It continued like this until I sat down to recognized what I was doing, how I was allowing fear keep me in a place called 'good enough'. The day it dawned on me was the day I put a face to my fears...and now I recognize it when it comes. I don't take stupid risks...but at least I'm no longer afraid to dare. It doesn't mean I have succeeded all the time, no I have failed sometimes...but at least now I can learn from the mistakes and get better. And I know on my death bed...some 60 years from now...I will know that there was nothing I wanted that I didn't go for...If I fail, if I succeed at least I tried my best...I live as I believe and that is 'go ahead...you go ahead and don’t stop'